Imagine asking someone on your team to pick up a hamburger.
They return with lettuce, tomatoes, onions, ketchup, mustard, and pickles. The works. Except you wanted it plain.
Oh, and lunch arrives at 1 p.m. You expected it at 11.
Now you're hangry and staring at a burger you didn't want.
But wait. Did you actually tell them you wanted it plain? Or that you needed it by 11?
This came up during our recent Rise Beyond™ panel, Managing Priorities in a Busy World, with Melissa Ott, President of Pelican Credit Union, and Dr. Yvette Marsh, Assistant Professor of Professional Practice at Louisiana State University.
We started talking about priorities and somehow ended up discussing hamburger orders, questionable driving routes, and square wheels. Surprisingly, they all had something to say about why we're so busy.
The Instructions Were Apparently Telepathic
We've all done it. Asked someone to handle a task, then wondered why they didn't do it exactly the way we would do it, in other words, the “right way!”
A little clarity upfront can save a lot of frustration later. What does the finished result look like? When do you need it? Which details actually matter?
And before someone gets started, try asking how they plan to approach it. You might catch a misunderstanding before it turns into an afternoon of revisions.
The trick is knowing when to explain what you want and when to let someone figure out how to get there.
Three Left Turns and a Backseat Driver
Melissa shared a story about someone driving her to work that morning.
After three left turns, she couldn't help asking why they hadn't taken the easier route.
The driver replied, "We're at the same place by the same time. Why do you care?"
Fair point.
How many times have we watched someone work differently and felt the need to jump in?
Maybe they organize a project differently. Maybe they use a method we'd never choose. But if the result is accomplished, does the route really matter?
One question worth asking ourselves: Would I still have a problem with the outcomes if I hadn't watched how they got there?
Sometimes the answer tells us more about our own habits than the other person's performance.
Too Busy for Round Wheels?
Another story from our discussion involved someone pulling a cart with square wheels.
Someone offers round wheels. The response? Too busy to stop.
It's funny until you realize you've said, "I'll just do it myself," about six times this week.
Training someone takes time. Explaining a process takes patience. And yes, sometimes doing it ourselves would be faster.
But if I'm the only person who knows how to do something, l will probably still be doing it next month.
And let's admit it, being the person everyone depends on can feel pretty good.
Until try to take a vacation.
Here's an interesting test: If you disappeared from work for a week, what would come to a complete stop?
That might tell exactly where those round wheels are needed.
Another Great Idea? Add It to the Pile!
Earlier in my career at IBM, I worked for a senior executive who always had a new initiative every time I saw him. He called himself a visionary.
And I kept saying yes.
I wanted to be helpful, and I wasn't comfortable pushing back. Eventually, the pressure affected my health, and I ended up in the hospital.
After recovering, my mentor helped me find a better way.
She suggested that I start tracking every initiative on my plate, start date, dependencies, along with its deadline and the hours it required each week. Then, bring that sheet to my one-on-one meetings.
When another idea came up, we could look at the list together and decide what needed to move, wait, or be handed to someone else.
It was a much better conversation than silently wondering how I was going to fit everything in.
That experience stayed with me when I became a people manager.
Because when a new priority shows up, something else usually has to give.
"If we're adding this project, what should we put on hold, assign to someone else, or delete?"
It's a question worth keeping handy.
ASAP According to Whom?
You know those emails marked "URGENT" that make you abandon everything you're doing?
Sometimes they're genuinely urgent.
Other times, you ask when the person needs it, and they say, "Oh, sometime next week is fine."
Wonderful. There goes the afternoon you had other plans for.
Before rearranging your entire day, let’s ask for the actual deadline.
And while we’re at it, remember that crossing off 15 little tasks doesn't necessarily mean you made progress on the one that mattered.
Maybe the most useful thing to do today is clarify an expectation, let someone take a different route, or finally teach a colleague that task you've been doing for years.
The real problem is how much we've convinced ourselves belongs there. Not every urgent request deserves a rearranged calendar. Not every task needs our personal attention. And working harder isn't always the answer.
Remember those square wheels? We can keep pushing the cart and wondering why we're exhausted, or we can stop long enough to figure out what's making the journey so difficult.
Sometimes the smartest way forward starts with putting the cart down.
Dima Ghawi is the founder of Rise Beyond™, a global leadership development company that helps individuals and organizations build resilient, future-ready leaders. Through transformational keynote speeches, leadership development programs, executive coaching, and her global leadership community, Dima has empowered thousands of professionals around the world to expand their leadership potential, navigate change with confidence, and turn challenges into opportunities for growth.
Learn more at DimaGhawi.com, RiseBeyond.pro, ToolKit.RiseBeyond.pro, and BreakingVases.com.
